How to redirect without being a jerk

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The conversation is drifting.

You can feel it.

Wrong problem.
Wrong direction.
Thirty-seven minutes of your life you'll never get back.

But you’re not running the darn meeting.

So you sit there and consider your options:
1) If you interrupt, you risk looking territorial.
2) If you stay quiet, you waste the full 60 minutes—for everyone.
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I’m writing about this because this week, one of you dropped me a line saying, "what if I'm not the one in charge? What if I'm supposed to be supporting the discussion not chairing it?"

It gave me an immediate flashback: I could feel the tension rising in my chest as I remembered a recent meeting in which we solved for something adjacent to the actual decision we needed to make.

Here’s what I’ve learned the hard way:

The move is definitely not frustration. That makes you look unhinged and triggers defensiveness every time.

You also don't have to sit there and take it.

The best move is curiosity.

Try this:

The next time you find yourself in this dilemma, try this script:

"I want to make sure we're using our time well here. It sounds like we're solving for [X], but I thought our goal today was [Y]. Could someone help me understand: has the goal changed, or are we taking a detour? I want to make sure I'm tracking with everyone."

Why it works:

1) Redirects without asserting authority. It frames the redirect as a clarification question rather than a correction.

2) Invites others to co-own the decision to get back on track. This creates collective accountability rather than putting you in the role of enforcer.